I thought I was dissociated… So I got therapy

There was a season where I genuinely thought something was wrong with me.

I felt disconnected. Flat. Tired in a way sleep didn’t fix.
I’d get heart palpitations, or butterflies in my stomach for no apparent reason.
I would shut down emotionally randomly out of the blue.
My mind was busy, but my body felt miles away.
I couldn’t always feel joy properly — but I also couldn’t fully access sadness or rest either.

So once I started talking therapy I told my therapist I thought I was dissociated.
And honestly? In some ways, I absolutely was.

But what I didn’t realise at the time was this:
My nervous system had been stuck in survival mode for so long that I’d never learned how to listen to my body.