Why I hate the phrase “My anxiety”.

I hate the phrase “my anxiety”.

Because when we say it like that, it makes it feel like anxiety is part of us.
Something we own.
Something we’re stuck with.
It makes it our identity.

And here’s the truth:
You are not anxiety.
Anxiety is not you.

For too long, anxiety has been framed as a mental health diagnosis. And while therapy, meditation, and medication can help with the racing thoughts, the fear, and the worry - too often, we forget the body behind the feelings.

Anxiety is a physical response to a physical world.

Anxiety is not just in your head.
It’s a physical response, a signal from your nervous system that something feels unsafe. Your body is saying: “Danger. Something’s not right. I need you to pay attention.”

It isn’t rational, thought through or open to reasoning.

We experience the world physically, before we do mentally. That’s why your heart will race, your breathing will quicken, and your palms will feel sweaty, all before you’ve realised you’re having a panic attack. Your amygdala (the radar in your brain, always scanning for danger) has already detected what it views as a threat, and is telling your body that it needs to fight, or RUN. That is why in a panic attack, everything is sped up, your body has been flooded with cortisol and adrenaline, ready for a response to danger. Only what has happened it that your brain has misinterpreted something for dangerous, when it isn’t.

If we only treat the mental symptoms and ignore the messages our bodies are sending, the physical tension stays, the heart rate stays high, the chest stays tight, the shallow breathing persists - and the anxiety keeps looping around, unresolved.

Calling it “my anxiety” gives it ownership over you. It makes your body’s protective alarm feel like part of your story, like it’s a companion you can’t escape. Like a co-dependent, toxic relationship you’ve been forced into.

But anxiety is not your enemy. It’s a protective behavior, sometimes overactive, sometimes misguided, but always trying to take care of you.

What happens when you separate yourself from the anxiety?

The real shift — the shift that actually changes how you experience stress, burnout, and overwhelm - comes when you start to listen to your body.

Notice the signals:

• The tight chest

• The racing heart

• The shallow breathing

• The tension in your shoulders

• The jittery, restless energy

Ask yourself:

• What is my body trying to protect me from?

• What has triggered this response?

• What part of me hasn’t felt safe enough yet?

When you approach anxiety through a somatic, trauma-informed lens, you start to retrain your nervous system. You start to see anxiety not as “your identity” but as information your body is giving you, clues about where your system is overstimulated, unsafe, or dysregulated.

Anxiety is a teacher, not a label

This is where it gets really powerful:

When we stop saying “my anxiety” and start saying “my body is sending me signals”, everything changes. Anxiety stops being something to hide or battle against. It becomes a teacher. A guide. A call to understand, regulate, and strengthen your nervous system.

You start to notice:

• Where your boundaries need support

• How overwhelm creeps in before you even realise it

• How your body carries stress, tension, and unprocessed trauma

And then you can do something about it.

Not by “thinking” your way out. Not by grinding harder, pushing through, or checking another box on your to-do list. But by retraining, regulating, and restoring your nervous system, so anxiety no longer hijacks your mind, your body, or your life.

The edgy Truth

Here’s the kicker most people won’t tell you:

• Anxiety is not a weakness

• Anxiety is not a moral failing

• Anxiety is not something you have to own or manage forever

Your anxiety is your body trying to protect you.
Misguided? Sometimes.
Overactive? Often maybe.
But fundamentally, intelligent, protective, and adaptive.

And if you start treating it like that - with curiosity, respect, and somatic (how your body experiences the world) awareness - it stops being a trap and starts being a tool for self-discovery, regulation, and real growth.

Your nervous system wants you to thrive. It’s not trying to sabotage you. And you don’t have to make anxiety part of your identity for it to work.

You just have to listen, learn, and respond - from the inside out.

Self Check:

Is Anxiety trying to tell you something?

Take a moment to tune in with your body. Notice how you feel - without judgment. Ask yourself:

1. Breathing: Is my breath shallow or stuck high in my chest?

2. Tension: Where do I feel tightness, stiffness, or discomfort?

3. Energy: Am I jittery, restless, or fatigued even after rest?

4. Mind: Are my thoughts racing, looping, or stuck on worst-case scenarios?

5. Triggers: Are there specific people, places, or tasks that consistently spike stress or overwhelm?

Reflection: These are your nervous system signals - not failures. They’re invitations to pause, notice, and regulate.

Next step: Pick one signal today and respond to it - breathe into it, move your body, adjust your environment, or simply notice it. This small somatic practice starts rewiring your body’s relationship to stress and anxiety.